Post by divinefistoka on Jan 15, 2006 9:58:44 GMT -5
Welcome to my first Newangband DITL… Complete with THEME SONG!!!!!
I got my twelve sided die and im ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew,
my friends are comin over to my moms basement bringin funyuns and the mountain dew,
i got a big broad sword made out of cardboard and that stereo's a-pumpin zeppelin,
its that time of the night we turn on the black light let the dungeons and the dragons begin,
it's D&D!
fighting with the legends of yore.
it's D&D!
never kissed lady before (nope).
now the lord of the rings the dark crystal and things,
we use these as a reference tool,
and when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes we're the coolest kids in the school...
(no we're not)
(i know)
now tiche's a real bastard but a fair dungeon master,
he's got hit points and charisma to lend,
i rehearse in my room or what i call the dragons tomb when im not im with my girlfriend,
its D&D...wait...
youve got a girlfriend?
yeah. yeah...no.
its D&D!
warriors that terrify.
its D&D!
virgins til the day we...
1,2,3,4!
die!
Now with that intro outta the way…
I can introduce the character. Lavits is a male celestial. He will choose to follow melee paths, with some slight ranging at the beginning to preserve his frail HP rating.
With that said, lets move.
Chapter 1:
Lavitz flew down from the heavens with the single intent of slaying the evil master Variaz. He landed in a small town, near an abandoned house. He decides to use it as a base, and stores some of his stuff inside. He picks up his long bow, arrows, leather armor, and sheild. He stores the majority of his magical scrolls and items in the house. As well as all his gold, save the cost of a lantern and 5 flasks of oil.
He then boldly enters the dungeon, confident that his death will be a glorious one.
Dungeon level 1 - This level cant be all bad.
We are greeted by a swarm of fruit bats and a kobold. By the time we manage to slay one… we are low on health and barely stumble out of the dungeon alive.
“This sucks! Why do I have to cower in fear of fruit bats!”
-- enter… me --
*coughs*
“Whos there?”
“I am the voice of wisdom (and sometimes stupidity). I am guiding you on your quest and will even return you should you die. Of course, ill have to remove your stuff…”
“So ive got nothing to lose?”
“No, quite the contrary. You can lose everything. You just come back”
*Lavitz ponders that and seems to understand*
“Lavitz… Go back into the dungeon. You must become stronger”
After resting we return
Dungeon level 1 - this level cant be all bad. (yeah right)
Theres a large white snake next to us. We back off a few paces and begin to fire.
*30 arrows later on a sleeping snake*
“That’s it, its just a snake! Im going in”
Lavitz proceeds to stomp on the snake who immediately attempts to flee. The snkae bits lavitz and he retreats as it heals before his eyes…
“Hmmm… maybe having you range wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Ill say. Im gonna cut that thing up”
Lavitz returns to his home and picks up his chain mail and sword. We then return to…
NO! wait! Its everyones favorite LOTR character… FARMER MAGGOT!!!!! *audience cheers*
“HAve you seen my dogs?”
*Lavitz slashes him*
“mumble mumble Mushrooms mumble mumble bumper crop.”
*lavits attempts to cut off his head*
*farmer maggot cries*
*Lavitz swings and misses, then punches farmer maggot*
“Hey you like this knickknack I bought the other day?”
*lavitz kicks farmer maggot in the shins*
“Get off my land you adventurer!”
*lavitz attempts to cut off maggots head*
“AIIIIIEEEE” *maggot flees in terror*
“Oh sure now he flees.”
*lavitz pursues and catches him at the dungeon entrance, then Stabs him in the ribs*
*maggot dies on the steps of the dungeon*
“What was up with that guy?”
“I dunno lavitz… hes farmer maggot… you figure it out”
Farmer maggot drops some arrows that seem to give static shocks when lavitz touchs them. He reads a magic scroll from his home. Which identifys the arrows as 20 shocking arrows (2d4) (+1, +3). Lavitz promptly stores them in his home to sell later. We then return to…
Dungeon level 1 - You feel there is something special about this level
Uh… no I don’t.
“Theres an elite giant white centipede next to us. Resists 50% all damage.”
*lavitz screams*
Come on lavitz.. Try cutting it up. Anythings better then nothing…
After 1 hit, we run. Went from 20 hp to 4.
We rest, then return to the dungeon again
Where we make our first impressive kill by disintegrating a white centipede.
And 1 soldier ant and 1 white snake later…
“you have hit level 2”
And we spend our stats points 1 on wisdom (now 8) and str (now 6).
We travel onwards exploring the dungeon when we stumble across (and awaken) a swarm of grid bugs. One of which (at least) was elite. We retreat, slamming about 6 doors behind us. And we return to the surface.
We rest up and begin our next dive.
And promptly run into a rock lizard. Which we fight. We then realize it fights well. A quick check yields that it is unique. DOH!
Lavitz dies. Whilst trying to run for stairs.
RIP Lavitz
*Lavitz appears in a great white place… hovering in emptiness.*
“Fear not lavitz. Your quest is sacred. So long as you wish it you can return to earth to fight again. Sadly, your stuff was left in the dungeon upon your ascension to this place. I can sense your rage and desire to kill variaz. I will return you now.”
The town
Lavitz wakes up in nothing but simple clothes… and wanders to his house where he picks up the gold he stashed there and goes to check out his house.
Lavitz buys a short sword (1d7) and a leather jacket. We then stash the remainder of our gold.
Dungeon level 1 - Wide open areas.
We proceed to make a few simple kills… and meet up with a elite white rat. He promptly slices lavitz in two with his teeth and lavitz once again ascends to heaven.
“You don’t seem to be doing well. Perhaps you should take a break.”
And with that. Lavitz reclines in midair.. And takes a rest… soon to return to the surface.
Author: Any advice? Comments? Questions?
(BTW, the song is credited to one stephen lynch. i just thought it fit very well in the newangband environment)
I got my twelve sided die and im ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew,
my friends are comin over to my moms basement bringin funyuns and the mountain dew,
i got a big broad sword made out of cardboard and that stereo's a-pumpin zeppelin,
its that time of the night we turn on the black light let the dungeons and the dragons begin,
it's D&D!
fighting with the legends of yore.
it's D&D!
never kissed lady before (nope).
now the lord of the rings the dark crystal and things,
we use these as a reference tool,
and when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes we're the coolest kids in the school...
(no we're not)
(i know)
now tiche's a real bastard but a fair dungeon master,
he's got hit points and charisma to lend,
i rehearse in my room or what i call the dragons tomb when im not im with my girlfriend,
its D&D...wait...
youve got a girlfriend?
yeah. yeah...no.
its D&D!
warriors that terrify.
its D&D!
virgins til the day we...
1,2,3,4!
die!
Now with that intro outta the way…
I can introduce the character. Lavits is a male celestial. He will choose to follow melee paths, with some slight ranging at the beginning to preserve his frail HP rating.
With that said, lets move.
Chapter 1:
Lavitz flew down from the heavens with the single intent of slaying the evil master Variaz. He landed in a small town, near an abandoned house. He decides to use it as a base, and stores some of his stuff inside. He picks up his long bow, arrows, leather armor, and sheild. He stores the majority of his magical scrolls and items in the house. As well as all his gold, save the cost of a lantern and 5 flasks of oil.
He then boldly enters the dungeon, confident that his death will be a glorious one.
Dungeon level 1 - This level cant be all bad.
We are greeted by a swarm of fruit bats and a kobold. By the time we manage to slay one… we are low on health and barely stumble out of the dungeon alive.
“This sucks! Why do I have to cower in fear of fruit bats!”
-- enter… me --
*coughs*
“Whos there?”
“I am the voice of wisdom (and sometimes stupidity). I am guiding you on your quest and will even return you should you die. Of course, ill have to remove your stuff…”
“So ive got nothing to lose?”
“No, quite the contrary. You can lose everything. You just come back”
*Lavitz ponders that and seems to understand*
“Lavitz… Go back into the dungeon. You must become stronger”
After resting we return
Dungeon level 1 - this level cant be all bad. (yeah right)
Theres a large white snake next to us. We back off a few paces and begin to fire.
*30 arrows later on a sleeping snake*
“That’s it, its just a snake! Im going in”
Lavitz proceeds to stomp on the snake who immediately attempts to flee. The snkae bits lavitz and he retreats as it heals before his eyes…
“Hmmm… maybe having you range wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Ill say. Im gonna cut that thing up”
Lavitz returns to his home and picks up his chain mail and sword. We then return to…
NO! wait! Its everyones favorite LOTR character… FARMER MAGGOT!!!!! *audience cheers*
“HAve you seen my dogs?”
*Lavitz slashes him*
“mumble mumble Mushrooms mumble mumble bumper crop.”
*lavits attempts to cut off his head*
*farmer maggot cries*
*Lavitz swings and misses, then punches farmer maggot*
“Hey you like this knickknack I bought the other day?”
*lavitz kicks farmer maggot in the shins*
“Get off my land you adventurer!”
*lavitz attempts to cut off maggots head*
“AIIIIIEEEE” *maggot flees in terror*
“Oh sure now he flees.”
*lavitz pursues and catches him at the dungeon entrance, then Stabs him in the ribs*
*maggot dies on the steps of the dungeon*
“What was up with that guy?”
“I dunno lavitz… hes farmer maggot… you figure it out”
Farmer maggot drops some arrows that seem to give static shocks when lavitz touchs them. He reads a magic scroll from his home. Which identifys the arrows as 20 shocking arrows (2d4) (+1, +3). Lavitz promptly stores them in his home to sell later. We then return to…
Dungeon level 1 - You feel there is something special about this level
Uh… no I don’t.
“Theres an elite giant white centipede next to us. Resists 50% all damage.”
*lavitz screams*
Come on lavitz.. Try cutting it up. Anythings better then nothing…
After 1 hit, we run. Went from 20 hp to 4.
We rest, then return to the dungeon again
Where we make our first impressive kill by disintegrating a white centipede.
And 1 soldier ant and 1 white snake later…
“you have hit level 2”
And we spend our stats points 1 on wisdom (now 8) and str (now 6).
We travel onwards exploring the dungeon when we stumble across (and awaken) a swarm of grid bugs. One of which (at least) was elite. We retreat, slamming about 6 doors behind us. And we return to the surface.
We rest up and begin our next dive.
And promptly run into a rock lizard. Which we fight. We then realize it fights well. A quick check yields that it is unique. DOH!
Lavitz dies. Whilst trying to run for stairs.
RIP Lavitz
*Lavitz appears in a great white place… hovering in emptiness.*
“Fear not lavitz. Your quest is sacred. So long as you wish it you can return to earth to fight again. Sadly, your stuff was left in the dungeon upon your ascension to this place. I can sense your rage and desire to kill variaz. I will return you now.”
The town
Lavitz wakes up in nothing but simple clothes… and wanders to his house where he picks up the gold he stashed there and goes to check out his house.
Lavitz buys a short sword (1d7) and a leather jacket. We then stash the remainder of our gold.
Dungeon level 1 - Wide open areas.
We proceed to make a few simple kills… and meet up with a elite white rat. He promptly slices lavitz in two with his teeth and lavitz once again ascends to heaven.
“You don’t seem to be doing well. Perhaps you should take a break.”
And with that. Lavitz reclines in midair.. And takes a rest… soon to return to the surface.
Author: Any advice? Comments? Questions?
(BTW, the song is credited to one stephen lynch. i just thought it fit very well in the newangband environment)
)